Mindful awareness is becoming a common language in conscious parenting. People are waking up to their virtual technologies and a  mind body spirit parenting approach. They’re searching for information on how to create a more happy harmonious life. People want to live in the moment and be joyful. And, they want the same (if not more) for their children.

Every human being has three dimensions to their human construct or composition – two virtual and one that is physical. Most people only identify with the physical, or the body. The other two include the mind and your spiritual dimension or nature. Why is this relevant? Because, each one communicates and integrates with the other.

If we take a mind-body-spirit perspective and approach with the things our kids do and say, we will be far more effective at guiding them! Acquiring strategies for supporting and understand how your teen thinks is essential for your effectiveness and your teens positive outcomes.

Like a majority of the American teenage girls I grew up learning how to compare, scrutinize and criticize every body part from my hair all the way down to the size of feet – and everything in between.

Not once did any of the teen and fashion magazines brainwash me into loving and accepting myself… just as I am. This behavior continued into the mid-late 20’s. In my 30’s after having kids the focus shifted to “what a bummer” that my body would never be the same again. In the 40’s we’re hyper focused on anything that has to do with aging, wrinkles or sagging lines.

So often people fall prey to looking at children’s traits as something imperfect and in need of change. I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve herd parents and teachers make labeling statements like “he/he needs to be more outgoing” or “you’re disruptive and are too sociable.”  Children hear and feel the intentions of these statements without a morsel of validation for the value of their inherent traits. Then as a result of repetitive feedback, the child thinks that they are in some way bad, wrong, inferior or inadequate. None of which are true. The brain then builds neurons to match the impressions it received. And the snowball effect doesn’t stop there! Soon the child begins labeling and limiting their own perspective about him or herself due to the neurons being built in the brain for the worse. Trust, self-worth, confidence, love and esteem all become challenged. Then, adults make more statements about their newly formed characteristics…and so the vicious cycle continues – which keeps them from believing and living in their full human potential and abilities. 

Why and when did we ever stop learning to play and dance like a child? Undoubtedly one of the single largest mistakes adults can make in their lifetime is to stop playing. It brings our personal evolution, brilliance, creativity and resilience to a screeching, and in some cases a life long halt! You see, the biological intelligence of play is designed specifically to benefit the human brain, mind and intelligence.

By Nature’s brilliant design, parents are given a second chance at reconnecting to the whimsical and beneficial properties of carefree play through our children.  Have you ever really whole-heartedly noticed how a child will find great joy, fascination and connection with even the smallest things?  Watch how they lovingly and appreciatively play with dirt, sand or whatever rubble they stumble upon.

The Divine intelligence of nature is unfathomable and awe-inspiring. Have you ever explored the science of biomimicry? Big word, but stick with me for a moment.  This is where science tries to duplicate the perfection and intelligence of nature’s design so as to create inventions or engineer solutions based upon what they learn from nature. For example, humans still cannot create a substance that is as strong and flexible as the threads of a spider web. If it were magnified into the size of a quarter inch cable, the strength would be incomparably greater than even our greatest technologies.

There are many interesting topics of discussion when it comes to ego. For example: how do you define it; how does it operate within the human; and most importantly, how the heck do we STOP listening to it?  

I’ve often coined it as the “yappy dog” inside my head. Always talking and barking at whatever life scenario is going on at the time. Sometimes it talks for seemingly good reasons….and most of the time, it does so for no relevant reason at all! As such, its gotten incredibly good at inventing ways to maintain its stronghold for airtime within the minds of me and the entire human race.

Being a parent can be challenging. Many parents feel like all they do is tell their child no all of the time. They feel that there has to be a better way….and guess what, there is!

Every word we speak affects how the mind thinks and builds circuitry within the brain to habitually respond and react according to the quality of data it receives.  The word “no” is a very limiting word and when used too often in can program us for limitation, separation, fear and resistance. Hardwiring your child’s brain to make possibilities and limitlessness the norm is far more productive…the brain loves it and it continues growing their limitless creativity and imaginative thinking!

Humans have unfortunately been programming themselves over the centuries to point out the worst and focus on what’s “bad” or “not working ” as apposed to giving our full attention to what “is” working”. How does this impact our children?

If we predominantly focus on pointing out what our child is doing wrong, positive psychology and neuroscience has proven that it can have less than desirable effects on the wiring and programming of their brains and minds. Think about it, when we criticize and compare our children we’re essentially developing and building the neuro-circuitry that makes them feel and think “something is wrong with me ” or “I’m inadequate”. This can lead to feelings of stress , unworthiness, self esteem challenges, and much more.